I am actually in a groove where I am mostly in real recovery from my sexual addiction. And this is why I want to be an addiction therapist/pastor/counselor at some point. So I can step across the room, grab the poor suffering schlub by the neck and slam him/her up against the wall, nuzzle my head up to his or her ear and whisper…”Do you have any idea how fucking painful and horrific this whole process will be. Your life will feel at times as if you are devoid of hope. One of the few illusions of fun and joy you had through your acting out will be taken away and you will be plunged into a black hole, that eventually lifts into a gray, mindless, numbed-out land called….recovery.”
It’s really that much fun, folks. Not only have I reduced sexual weirdness, I’ve also chosen to reduce my booze intake to a glass of wine a week, at most. Why couldn’t I at least be a 17th century Jesuit priest so I could at least hoist a musket and get to kill someone or many someones as part of my Jesuitical conversion process that spread so much love and joy….
Alcohol triggers my sexual obsessions so after one glass of red last night, this morning I am vibrating with the need to have naughty bits of business done unto me. It led to many brief online sighs this a.m. while alternating NPR and White Hinterlands…love this gal……so before I jump into the shower and re-enroll in the Recovery Shit Brigade I thought I’d do a shout out to all the lasses who led me to the aforementioned sighs…
Mistress Alicia of NYC. Hot new web site. I had one phone session with her and her evil intelligence seeps down the line. Penny Flame…succubus sweetie of Kink.com.. Isobel Wren who is appearing on Kink.com and is elevating her schoolgirl innocence into the realm of submissive icon for the early 21st century…a Nite Flirt girl, Come to CoCo, is brilliant. Voice, mind and after one call a while back I am fearful and excited about being ensnared in her witty charm and my twisted needs. Ms. Jennifer LeMonde, former domme at Rapture and also the star of a new web site that makes me want to be in the presence of someone who would be more vicious than I could handle. And since I’m headed to Big D next week for the Mavericks and Celtics, I sooooo(think the intonation of Dr. Cox on “Scrubs”) want to impale myself again on the sounds of Domina Athena.
Quick sidebar that I hope is not too intrusive. The day after I had my sounds experience with the drop dead gorgeous, I drool just thinking of her lady in question…I was having a little lunch at ‘The It’s All Good Cafe” and noticed her walking her dog…She is stylish, leggy and breathtaking….as for the dog…I just don’t remember..
Recovery…there are moments of emotional and spiritual peace and tiny victory dances and something that is simply more connected to the real and the now. Just not this particular morning.
Peace to us all my brothers and sisters.
